Monday, July 16, 2007

Sunday's Shopping Excursion

I've been an awful lazy wagon on the housekeeping front lately. By the time Sunday morning rolled around, it was officially a month since I'd last done any grocery shopping. I was away for a bit, I ate out a lot, but mostly I just didn't bother my arse. But we ran out of jacks roll, so enough was enough.

I decided I'd make an adventure rather than a chore of it. Off I set, backpack on my back, bound for Aldi on Parnell St. I love Aldi. Nothing seems to cost more than €2, none of the brands are familiar, it's utter fucking chaos and nobody understands anybody else, so it's like being on your holidays. I got as far as O Connell St. and decided to go via Henry St. for the stroll (my subconscious was craving a new pair of shoes, presumably). As I was passing Dunnes I noticed their new shop had opened, so naturally I went in for a look-see. Not that there was much to see... The place was devastated. I haven't seen Dawn of the Dead (I tried, but I was home on my own and it was too scary) but I'm willing to bet that Dunnes on Henry St yesterday afternoon comes pretty fucking close. Apparently they opened on Friday, so I was arriving in on the third and final day of their opening bonanza, a half price sale. Bad oul' timing. The place wasn't too packed, but the folk in there were all very very mental. The womenfolk were milling around in a state of heightened agitation, scavenging what was left on the bizarrely empty shelves (there was nothing in the shop to buy) and the harassed looking husbands were crowded around a flatscreen TV (screwed to the wall and not for sale) watching the Dubs.

Any sensible person would turn on their heel and hightail it to Penneys (given that their regular clientele were all battering their kids in Dunnes instead) but the anthropologist in me wanted to see more. And like everyone else, I thought there might be something -anything- on the shelves upstairs.

Nope. I paid dearly for my curiosity too. Failing to find the stairs I had to take the escalator back to the ground floor (I don't like them as the handrails invariably give me electric shocks). Nobody else could find the stairs either, so there was a mass exodus via the escalator, the end of which had the queue for the checkouts snaking across its path (what the fuck they were buying I don't know, as I said, there was nothing in the shop to buy). The stubborn shites in the queue weren't moving, and the idiots on the escalator (my stupid self included) were moving at a fair pace towards them and couldn't do a damn thing about it. Cue a nice snarly mash-up on the shop floor and my flip-flopped toes getting chewed by the metal lip on the stairs. Bastards.

Aldi was an oasis of calm by comparison. I enjoyed it, right up until my laser card was declined.

What a day.


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