Monday, December 03, 2007

Diplomatic Incident Narrowly Avoided

Do NOT Want

"I got her that thing I was telling you about" said the Swede in a stage whisper, nodding emphatically in my direction. "I got it in a different colour though". He left the room and the Leitrim Lady turned to me with an uncomfortable, apologetic look. "Your Christmas present... I really hope he hasn't. I told him not to. Fuck..."

The three of us were in the sitting room later when I got a text on my phone, from the Leitrim Lady (all of 3 feet away).

So the good news is he didn't buy you what he was originally thinking of, in fact he got you a nice present. His original thought was an inflatable man and when he told me he got what he was looking for only in a different colour I thought it was a black inflatable doll...

He's a lucky man to have such a sage advisor. Last year we had a Christmas dinner with a few friends and he insisted that I open my present first. I tore back the paper to reveal a gift box from La Senza and everybody held their breath while I lifted the lid (me thinking if this is a lace teddy and suspenders, this cunt is moving out) only to reveal a cuddly pink hot water bottle that say Huggable across the front.

Reminding me of my single status via a large wind-filled man effigy would not have gone down well. He skates on thin ice, does the Swede.

10 comments:

pink jellybaby said...

That would be an amusing gift to open, but i'm sure that it wouldn't be that well received by many people!

AJ said...

Ya should have asked him to get you some earplugs ! Ahahaha

red said...

Ah, man it sounds like you've got the world's loveliest flatmates.

Also I now realise I'm going to have to check your blog over the weekend, you put up loads of posts and I didn't even drop by :-(

davey said...

The Swede seems preoccupied by the theme of hollow, rubber, pseudo companions.

In that light, I think you're best bet is to hope he bought you a whoopie cushion.

Rosie said...

Baby, you're very right.

AJ, he wasn't the culprit the other night (thankfully my room's not next to his, i've no idea what he gets up to, nor do i want to know)

they're legends, Red. fucking spacers both, but i love them, and they tolerate me. as for posting at the weekends, i do that when i'm sober... use a reader, miss nothing! besides, all my ramblings are still there on mondays.

Davey, i can only hope. though he can be very thoughtful sometimes (i suspect by accident) so you never know, he might surprise me.

Manuel said...

any way yer man there wouldn't have been much kop any ways.......no thingy n that....by thingy I mean credit card......

Rosie said...

you can get ones with 7 inch vibrating credit cards, Manuel... (i saw them when i was searching for a suitable picture for the post. honest.)

Manuel said...

bwahahaha

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