Excellent reasons to call in sick to work:
- SARS
- MRSA
- AIDS
- Lots of other four letter acronyms
- Chicken Pox
- Smallpox
- Monkey Pox (it exists)
- Any other type of pox
Not quite so excellent reasons to call in sick to work:
- Hangover
- Beard rash
“It was three whole months they had been together. Then she took the heart
out of him and ate it.
‘Jesus,’ he said.
‘And here we are,’ she said.”
- *Wist...
25 comments:
I'd like to work in a university English department, so I could call in sick with Shakespearean complaints like palsy, dropsy and the ague.
Beard rash? durty...
I once called into my part-time job and said I'd be late because I had to be decontaminated after a radiation leak at the lab where I was working full time.
They totally bought it but then again middle managers in suburban Californian cinemas were never that bright to start with.
The best I heard was when a reception temp in a newspaper called (on a random Wednesday) to say she had woken up at 7, thought it was a Saturday and went back to sleep.
Still waiting to hear if she ever came in on a Sunday thinking it was Thursday though.
Ebola for the win!
Or more specifically, "I won't make it in today. I have a touch of ebola. I expect I'll be ok tomorrow though"
The HR Manager's reponse: "Enjoy the nice weather - that's the best excuse I've heard in years"
Beard rash? Jaysus that Ricochet is a busy man...
Beard rash!
Well, you didn't get it from me.
Beard rash eh?
I LOVE it!
> Shakespearean complaints like palsy, dropsy and the ague.
Can't remember the specifics, but I remember reading about a document from Shakespeare's time that refers to a medical complaint called "the foul evils". Must try that one sometime.
Hangovers aggravate my beard rash.
i think i may have pleaded palsy when i was working in the bank, Tim. life was much simpler when i didn't care whether i kept my job or not.
i'd have believed that, Tom. i'm very gullible though.
i've used that one too, David. and been 100% genuine about it.
i once called in (to the bank, again) pleading laryngitis and ingeniously pretending not to be myself, but idiotically calling the supervisor by her first name and giving the game away. credit to her, she played along...
nope, Annie. but that Catherine one has an awful stubbly chin. and it would appear that drunkenness aggravates my beard rash, Billy.
Now, now missy you can't just say beard rash and leave us all hanging. Or do you just mean that you and the ginger one are talking again?
no, Red, unfortunately.
that Catherine one has an awful stubbly chin
Aye, sorry about that, I've been trying to grow a goatee for weeks but no dice. Don't think I'm taking enough Miracle-Gro...
She is. She's going to leave us hanging. Bums.
tee hee! I love it too. Love bites and beard burn... wearing strategically placed scarves around your neck... those were the days...
Apparently you can get monkey pox AND beard rash from snoggin' monkeys.
Use that one the next time you call in sick to work.
what I do is tell them that I'm after getting sick several times, then offer to come in anyway.
last thing a shop wants is someone getting sick all over the vegetables.
Of course last week I just stayed in bed one day and didn't bother heading in at all, they didn't say anything so I didn't either... got paid for the full day afterwards.
This one time I was working in an office and was hungover for 4 out of my first 5 days but it was ok because both my supervisors were equally......oh wait, you might already know this story
Face cancer is a good one.
Someone once rang me and said 'Can't come in to work today. I was out all night drinking, I took a pill at about 5am and I'm just too fucked to drive'.
Got to admire the honesty.
once I had a houseparty and said "my housemates had a houseparty. they kept me up all night" I got sympathy the next working day.
Also if its a temping sort of job, it depends on how far you want to sound but the more embarrassing and outré the excuse the better. Nobody is going to sack you if you say, I had to spend half the day in casualty with my boyfriend because his cock-ring just won't budge and his mickey now looks like an aubergine. You will be admired for your brave honesty, and perhaps envied for your experimental sex-life.
The only other good one I can think of right now is reflux disease. Its banal and realistic, but not banal enough to be made up, like the 24 hour bug.
ha, Catherine. i'm just picking on you because i'm still smarting after the thrashing you gave me at scrabble.
Quickie, i'm very discerning about who (or what) i kiss.
*ahem*
i used to do that too, B, and occasionally i would turn up anyway, make a fuss about running off to the jacks to puke and then wait to be sent home. that way it was their fault, not mine...
shut up, Rua.
face cancer is a good one, Twenty. so's diarrhea, but i find it very difficult to spell.
nice, Gardenhead. if you're looking for banal though, i have called in to say that i didn't sleep well because i had nightmares and so would need a morning in bed.
Does that really work? It seems a bit rubbish. I usually just mutter about not feeling well. Which, given my creeping alcoholism, is generally the truth.
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