Friday, 22 August 2008

I Am A Heinous Bitch

So, Andrew wants to know why I don't like blogrolls. I left a comment over at his saying as much,after he tipped his hat at Darragh Doyle's AA style open invite to bloggers to state their name and occupations. Andrew has promised to buy me a Toblerone, so for the moment Andrew gets what Andrew wants. I have a terrible weakness for airport confectionery.

Oftentimes I think that I am not a very good blogger. I've broken a cardinal rule in doing away with my blogroll, after an unsatisfactory attempt to make an honest list of it. I think of those links in terms of endorsements; I read this and I think it's super so you should read it too. But mine inevitably became political and I found myself linking to blogs out of a misplaced sense of obligation, or gratitude, or confused cynicism. Linking to some that I thought would make me look clever. Leaving out others, my guilty pleasures - the blogroll equivalent of a Dido album. I stuffed a couple of the widely-read blogs in there in the hope I might earn a link back. I commented on posts elsewhere just because they would guarantee me a mess of curious traffic. I felt sullied when so few of those who strayed stayed.

So I am trying to be a bit truer to mine own self with my blog, at the expense of staying true to the accepted (if not quite set in stone) principles of blogging. I try to keep external links to a minimum - my blog is not Wikifuckingpedia and you all know how to use your googlemachines. You're well able to look shit up, it would be patronising of me to spoonfeed you with definitions. I try to keep from unnecessarily referencing my own posts; I find it unbecoming. I will not link to other blogs just to draw traffic; if I link it will be out of deference to the author for something they have said, done or written. I will not keep a blogroll because I cannot trust myself to maintain one; I am too concerned with trying not to offend people with my sins of omission, and I am too concerned with my image to keep anything there that I think might show me in a poor light. That's the ugly truth of it - it is a heady mess of manners and ego that has me reluctant to play the game.

I'm the same with dancing. Rhythmically dyslexic, I feeling like a big, uncoordinated, unsexy lump on the dancefloor. But play the right song and I own the motherfucker.

So I think of my Rosie Loves button in the sidebar as my choice choons. I thought about sharing the feeds I subscribe to, but that would be filling the floor with a party mix rather than playing something I think you'd like to dance to. There are blogs in my reader where the content is so inconsistent that I have subscribed and unsubscribed to them umpteen times - I'm not sure if this indicates the patience of Job or ADHD on my part. Rather than test your patience too, I'll link to posts I like. There are other blogs in my reader that I don't care for at all but I feel I should at least skim their surfaces once in a while; whether I like it or not, the Irish blogosphere is a small place and it pays to have some idea of what the neighbours are up to (feed readers make for excellent net curtains). I keep a folder named "Not Dead, Just Sleeping" which I have littered with abandoned blogs. I have an orgy of sex blogs (good, bad and ugly) that I read for research purposes. *cough* I think you're better off for me not sharing all of these with you in the sidebar.

My understanding of blogging's communities, civilities and courtesies is growing. And while I think of myself neither as a bitter cunt or a belligerent contrarian, I didn't like Darragh's post because for me, blogging is not about the readers. I don't like that people feel the need to advertise their blogs, to shout for attention. I went through an unhealthy phase of thinking my blog was valid only if (lots of) people read it, if they commented, if they loved it (for "it" read "me"). I spent more time poring over Statcounter than I did writing posts and I lost sight of why I wanted to keep a blog in the first place. I am happy enough to make some aspects of this blogosphere's etiquette my own, and disregard the rest.

Because that is what I do.

49 comments:

backpedalbrakes said...

Your blog, your rules.

I used to blog every day because everyone else did, even if it felt like a chore for me.

Then I realised how ridiculous it was for me to feel beholden to the internet, and so I stopped.

David said...

"Neither as a bitter cunt or a belligerent contrarian" - well I dunno... ;)

All that said - if you don't want a blogroll why bother? I'm of a similar mindset with linking to posts and as everyone knows I set the trends on this whole interweb malarky.

Thriftcriminal said...

Grand job. Less thinky, more do-y. Some people copy the existing blog format slavishly (I guess I fall into this camp) others don't. Do whatever you want, it's your blog, doesn't make you mean or bad, or good for that matter. Your stuff, your way (hmm, maybe I should go into marketing [he thinks sardonically])

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Right on, Rosie!!

When I started blogging I didn't tell any friends the name of it (actually I made them try to guess, like Rumplestiltskin, only hotter and less wrinkly).

That kind of gave me the freedom to blaaag into infinity about anything...real nice actually.

Then I got drunk and told them.

And then I started obsessing about content and form and all that *propriety*.

And then I thought WTF?!

Fck that, this whole blog thing is only for me at the end of the day, somewhere to spew and vent and yabber all about me to well...me.

PS****Thanks for putting me on your Rosie Loves today. You were the first blog I ever read....Im totally starstruck in fact!!

Right I sound like a sap now but you know what I mean.

conortje said...

That reminds me - I took one blog off my blogroll some time back as I began to think the author was slightly barmy, and not in a charming way. (militantly obsessed with certain issues I would venture) I did this quietly and respectfully without telling a soul and I noticed that by the end of the day somehow she had noticed and removed her link to me. Hilarious :-)

Rosie said...

me too, Catherine. we're growing up, i think.

exactly, Maybury. i was only following your lead.

a burger king have it your way kind of motto, Thrifty? i think my blog is more of a mammy style like it or lump it.

you're only 13 posts in, Sarah! careful now or you'll have broken up with yourself before you even get a ride. no need for thanks re the link - it was a great post. visual fingering. brilliant. and i was your first? i'm chuffed. were you the one googling "spanish girls fuck donkey asses"? because i assumed that was Manuel.

i wiped my whole blogroll, Conor. and nobody noticed.

Twenty Major said...

I think what Darragh does is known as 'link baiting'.

I will not keep a blogroll because I cannot trust myself to maintain one; I am too concerned with trying not to offend people with my sins of omission, and I am too concerned with my image to keep anything there that I think might show me in a poor light. That's the ugly truth of it - it is a heady mess of manners and ego that has me reluctant to play the game.

You never struck me as somebody who gave a shit one way or another. So why would having a blogroll cause you a moment's thought? And anyone who gets offended because they're not on somebody's blogroll is a bit sad, really.

Radge said...

Do you know, I'm at this four years and I still don't really know what these accepted principles of blogging are.

Probably explains why I'm still reaching for the holy grail of ten comments (well, that or I can't master this writing lark.)

People blog for different reasons, but I think the unifying truth is that they want to be read and (in an ideal world) appreciated. Otherwise it's a journal beside the bed. The trick is not letting that inform the writing itself.

I'm probably repeating what someone else said here. I do that a lot.

offthemeatrack said...

I'm going to move to have you thrown out of the Blogging Guild. Hand over your Blog Gun, Rosie.

the dublinista said...

This is the first comment I leave on anyone's blog under my new alias. So feel privileged or alarmed. I've left comments before under numerous names in the past (possibly something to do with not wanting to be unveiled as being inconsistent) But I had a thought today... I've actually stopped commenting since I set the blog up as I didn't want people to think I was trying to get some cheap hits for badly written tat.
I see your point on the political aspect of blog rolls-you scratch my back etc etc, but that said, I don't think I would have found so many good ones had they not been linked.
Keep doing what you're doing- I see you as an inspiration to the blogging world-whether thats an insult to you or not is yet to be decided...

Andrew said...

Good explanation, and I agree with much of what you said. There's definitely one or two blogs on my list that are really only there out of a sense of obligation, but only one or two. And I don't really think that's so bad. I certainly wouldn't automatically blogroll anyone who has me on their's.
For me blogrolls are partly about showing who my friends are, but also about showing the kind of thing I like to read. And that is mostly it. I don't think I take all that many hits any more through other rolls but it was definitely useful and much appreciated when I was starting out. What annoys me is when new people put all the really big bloggers like M****y, Bock and Twenty on their rolls because they don't need the help at all. That's my communist little approach to blogrolls and I'm sticking with it.

John Braine said...

Twenty
>I think what Darragh does is known >as 'link baiting'.

Shit. I've started feeling guilty when I leave a comment with a link to my site. Same on a discussion board. Even if I think it's really relevant part of the comment.

I might just start losing sleep over this heinous crime. I think we all ned the sun to come out.

aonghus said...

Google reader allows you to selectively publish folders.

I've published the List of blogs in Irish in my reader that way.

Content matters. Form deosn't unless it obscures or highlights the contents.

The "side"bars are just that. On the side, optional.

Lottie said...

I blog for the social aspect of it. it's a fun way to get the random annoyances of daily life off my chest and to meet lovely new beings. I don't talk about politics, sport, current affairs or really any matters of any real consequence to anyone but me.

I like the idea of having a blog roll as I find it a great way to find new blogs from people who have similar interests and tastes to me.

My blog roll is for my benefit more than anyone else's and consists mainly of friends I have met through the scene. It provides me with an easy access to my morning reads (I can't figure out that Google Reader thing).

A blog is personal. If you want a blog roll - have one. If you don't don't. Simple as. I think it's foolish when people go around criticising other bloggers for their lack or use thereof.

Twenty Major said...

What annoys me is when new people put all the really big bloggers like M****y, Bock and Twenty on their rolls because they don't need the help at all.

It's not about help though, Andrew.

For me blogrolls are partly about showing who my friends are, but also about showing the kind of thing I like to read. And that is mostly it

If people enjoy reading my site or Mulley's or Bock's then why shouldn't they put them on their blogroll? Why would that annoy you?

I might just start losing sleep over this heinous crime. I think we all ned the sun to come out.

I believe the sun will come out tomorrow.

Twenty Major said...
This post has been removed by the author.
MJ said...

@ backpedalbrakes: felt the same for a while, found I was looking for things to blog about, realised that I was missing the point...

@ Andrew: absolutely, why roll someone you don't even read? that's just silly. I find myself editing mine all the time. But re: twenty, I roll him because he's hilarious and I loved his book, why not point a few newbies in the bookshop's direction?

@Lottie: I agree, it's a great way to discover new blogs (hence my constant edits!) - sure isn't that the whole point of them?! It's mine anyway...

I also have an issue with the readers and getting an email from too many blogs every time they update. I use my blogroll like a big giant bookmark instead :)

Rosie said...

link baiting's a nice term for what i think of as bad practice. Twenty, it's gratifying to hear that i come across as not giving a shite because really, i shouldn't.

i dunno, Radge. i still think that that's a little too close to reader dependency for my liking.

i had been thinking of jacking it in anyway, Roosta.

so i might know you in another guise, Dublinista? hits for tat is all too often where it's at, if you'll pardon the shiteous rhyme.

Rosie said...

blogrolls are partly about showing who your friends are? smells a bit like facebook to me...

as for helping people out, one of the things i was trying to say is that i don't feel that keeping a blog should be about traffic, or readership.

bet your bottom dollah, Twenty.

Rosie said...

i was gonna say "leave them under your own name, like i do", John, but... eh... leave them under a pseudonym? fuck feeling guilty though, if they're relevant then nobody's going to think you're doing it for the hits.

form makes a first impression, Aonghus. agus tá siadsan tábhachtach, no? sílimse go bhfuil, ar aon chaoi.

i'm not sure i'd have said foolish, Lottie, nor do i see it as simple as. i've put both time and thought into this.

MJ@BackPedalBrakes - well said.

Andrew said...

Twenty, I suppose I put that wrong. what I meant is that occasionally it feels like people put the bigger blogs on out of some weird sense of obligation, as though they need to acknowledge their stature in the irish blogosphere. I definitely know people who put Mulley on their blogrolls even though they don't really have any time for his blog at all. It's like that's the first law of irish blogging or something. I read Mulley about once a week or thereabouts but I don't feel the need to blogoll him as it's not representative of what I read or what I like.

Rosie - smells a bit like Facebook? I suppose it does and that is one of the things I don't like about the Irish blogosphere, it IS a bit too much like social networking at times. I think I'm far from the worst culprit there.
Having said that, if a blog is very personal in content then it goes hand in hand that a blogger will talk about their friends and link to them if they are bloggers too. People like Darren and Lottie were friends of mine before either they or I started blogging so it follows that I would reference them on my blog, as they do to me.
Others have become friends of mine through blogging.

B said...
This post has been removed by the author.
B said...

...


hahahaha

Really good post but I also like how it's all typed out with some form of primal rage.

The title is absolute gold too.

Darragh said...

Hiya Rosie, thanks for the post and the link and all that.

Like Lottie, I enjoy blogging for the social aspect of it. Like yourself I don't have a blogroll and I link to posts I like when I read them. The 'Random Rosie' and 'Rosie Likes' features on your blog are great - I'll usually click on both when I visit - and I think they're perfect for your blog. Time and time again I'm reminded just how many different types of bloggers there are out there, and while many of my posts are time dependent, yours tend to capture you in a moment, a scenario, a poignant thought that displays your thinking eloquently and intelligently. Well, maybe except for the fish fingers one. :-P

I just throw up stuff because I want to. Sometimes it has an impact, sometimes it doesn't. You're right when you say I believe blogging is about the readers, but only partly, because I believe blogging is all about the people. Indeed, Twenty had a post recently where Mulley talked about "cheerleaders" in blogging, and I'm (almost unashamedly) one. I love reading people's thoughts, seeing their photos, examining their consciences and following their ideas. They're not just words on a screen to me, it's the story and the people behind the story where my fascination and addiction lies.

Here's something that may surprise you - I have no idea how many people read my blog. I have Google Analytics installed but rarely remember to visit it. However I cherish the links I get and the comments I receive because it shows that what I do is having an effect and that's all I want it to do. I'm not reliant on my blog for anything other than an interesting project. If I hadn't been quite so ill recently there'd be a plethora of other posts and ideas and replies to comments but c'est la vie. I'll get to it.

I comment on people's blogs not because I feel I have to, but because I want to. I like what they've read. Yes, I'm personable, I've met a lot of bloggers, I like them and yes, there is a "nice guy" or "cheerleader" element to it, but so what? That's me in real life too. Nice to be nice. Better to light a candle than curse the darkness, etc. I like saying well done to people who deserve it as much as I like hearing it.

I spend time reading and commenting on other blogs not only because I'm interested in the writing, but to learn. It's why I attend the barcamps, the podcamps and talk on the radio about blogging - to teach, to promote and to share. I find it a powerful medium, and recent posts like K8's, Maxi Cane's and Steve's bear that out.

I don't feel my post was inviting people to "shout for attention", rather to say "Oh, me too". As I said I don't know of a lot of blogs and I find it's better for someone to say "here, take a look" and find it that way rather than trust myself to find it another. It was in fact an experiment, a thing I did just to see what happened, and it seems to have worked. I have many blogs I haven't heard of and I'll check out. Nice one, Ted.

As Catherine said - your blog, your rules. I'm delighted to read that you're not seeking adulation through blog statistics, but I do feel myself being frustrated with you when you say you're not a "good blogger". You reply to comments, you answer questions, you write what your readers look for, you promote blogs and posts and above all you post regularly and well. What more could you do?

Re Twenty's Link Baiting comment - I had to look that up to see what it was. Hardly, Twenty. It is actually about the hand in the air saying "me too". Sin é. That's what I like to do.

Thanks again Rosie. Always an interesting experience :o)

tina said...

Rosie, great post! I'm with you on stats. I hardly ever look at mine because I just don't think that's the point of blogging, at least, not for me. I enjoy reading your posts and whether you have blogroll or not, makes no difference to me.

Twenty Major said...

I'm not suggesting you're a bad fellow or anything, Darragh. Far from it.

What I am saying though is that often you write posts with tons of links to other blogs in them. You know that bloggers love links and to me those links in your posts are designed to draw a response from those bloggers, either via a comment on your blog or a reciprocal link.

It's a method of drawing attention to your blog and your blog posts (link baiting) but then you're savvy enough to know that!

Darragh said...

@Twenty - I think you over-estimate my technical savvy, sir. Cheers for the explanation but actually, I'll only link to someone (or something) if I've read it and I think it's worth sharing or it's relevant to the post. One conversation sparking off another. I read tons of blogs and sites a day, so it seems natural to me to bring them into my online conversation as well.

I'm not denying it doesn't have benefits, but they're almost secondary - I'm seeking neither praise nor recognition for it. I'm just saying what I like. I'd like to think that I have content worth reading as well as pointing out that people have too.

problemchildbride said...

When I'm stuck with a day!
That's grey!
And loooooooooooneleeeeeeeey
I just stick out my chin!
And grin!
And saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

*Goes spinning off around the room just like an adorable, scampish orphan might. Notices Twenty, whose Bastardface pooch eats orphans, squeaks "Eek!" and scampers off into the cold, hard, smelly world*

problemchildbride said...

Do what the hell you like on your own blog, Rosie. That's the point, innit? I would take real umbrage with anyone telling me what to do on mine.

I have a blogroll because I have so many bookmarks on my computer that I can never find the sites I'm looking for, nor be arsed trawling through all the bookmarks to find them. I don't use a feed reader because I've never found one that is compatible with all the sites I want to read, and they ended up seeming just like more work. So my blogroll is my primary link to the blogs I read regularly.

My problem is unlinking. It seems like a slap in the face to unlink someone somehow. I've been unlinked before and it didn't cause me a moment's worry - in fact I was glad to see it happen - but to do it myself makes me a bit like I'm going to hurt someone's feelings. Ridiculous, but there you have it.

Blogging etiquette's all well and good and useful in the main, but the blog's the thing, in the end, isn't it? Your own space. No point in slavishly adhering to rules you think are bunk.

offthemeatrack said...

i had been thinking of jacking it in anyway, Roosta
Going renegade, eh? The Guild will never stand for it.

Andrew said...

"I would take real umbrage with anyone telling me what to do on mine."

I really hope no-one thinks that's what I was doing because I wouldn't dream of it. I simply asked what Rosie's reasons were for not liking blogrolls. Out of curiosity, nothing else. I'd smack anyone who told me what to do with mine. And I think it suits Rosie's page very well not to have one.

red said...

and besides like any good old irish relationship, the ones you love know it without you having to tell us (heeheehee.)

fluffyredrant said...

I may be an absolute cunt when I say this and maybe its stuff like this that 'holds me back' in the political bitchland that is the Irish blogoshphere but honestly, and I mean this, who gives a flying fuck what other people think of YOUR blog? Its YOUR blog, if it doesn't reek of YOU then its not a blog...... Or maybe it is, I dunno, its up to you really

Aidan said...

The blogroll widget in Blogger allows you to publish a snippet of the latest posts from your favourite blogs. That makes it very easy for somebody to spot a post they might like on a blog you like. Since I have used this widget there are way more clicks through to other blogs than on the traditional link list.
The widget has nothing to do with protocol, it's all about the content. I only out blogs with great content on the blogroll.

Robert Hogan said...

I was on a few blog-rolls, and was removed off a few too. I used to have a blog-roll, about 5 blogs that I read all the time. I removed it when I changed the layout.

I like your blog the way it is, it's a triumph of content over style, which is increasingly rare these days.

stwidgie said...

I don't feel strongly about blogrolls myself, but I see what you mean. A sense of obligation fills so much of my waking life, that it's a relief to do just as I please on my blogs. More power to you, Rosie!

Liberation from stats is a little harder. I'm a paid navel-gazer by day, so when the days of no comments stretch into weeks, it's hard not to wonder if I'm doing good stuff.

Quickroute said...

I got removed from someones blogroll recently because I posted an article on meat with photos of steak. They were vegetarian and sent me a nice polite email to let me know of my delisting!

My approach to my blogroll has changed over the 12 months I've been blogging. We're all learning!
I used to link to everybody and their mother but since I could really only read a fraction of them, it didn't make sense. I've culled a number of times and now it's just the stuff I read - period.

As it should be - there are no rules in blogging so just go do yer thang!

Felix for Zosia said...

You've inspired me to come clean: I listen to my Dido cd last night while chopping vegetables!

Also want to say, I really liked your post before this one, and wanted to comment but i stared at the screen for ages not really knowing what to say... further comment seemed superfluous.

Gardenhead said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Gardenhead said...

woah, I'm crashing a 38 comment party about sidebars. I'd just like to say nice use of the word Heinous dudes. Until the age of 21, loved this word, but pronounced it Heen-ee-ous, because reading it from books my brain made me think that was correct usage. Imagine my embarrassment the first time I used it aged 21 in trinity college.

As for link baiting. Yes, it is very obvious, and dull, like throwing a big fat net out into a barrel full of goldfish. It reminds me of the kid in primary school that landed in two days before christmas hols with a card and sweets for everyone in the class.

*last post removed due to retarded spelling mistake

Conan Drumm said...

You're right, it's such a load of old poo.

Imagine if your blog was your house and visitors got miffed if they didn't see their photo on your mantlepiece.

I happen on people through their comments on sites I visit, or if they visit me. I've given up entirely on the whole stats/html back-office side of my blog because I've no interest in accumulating 'traffic'.

Plenty of cars on the road slow down and give the house a once over, doesn't mean I'd want to get to know any of them.

Rosie said...

i see your point, Andy. i just don't have any friends...

the title is borrowed from Andy, B, and he meant it affectionately. primal rage? not quite. i penned it in pencil, over a bowl of weetabix.

i guess i've just not got the legs for cheerleading, Darragh.

saying that i don't think i'm a "good blogger" was tongue in cheek - i think i'm fucking marvellous, to be honest. i'm just not as taken with the conventions of the medium as others are.

good to know that you enjoy them despite all of the swearing, Tina.

that's why i has the Great Purge, Sam. it seemed easier to raze it to the ground than to cull. i'm a big barn-burning chicken.

you'd miss me, Roo? sweet.

i especially love the ones who send me cracking mix cds in the post, Redser... (stateside sounds from the red scrapbook?)

it reeks of me alright, smelly Rua. all the way down to the words i can spell but not pronounce - like heinous and segue.

i can see how that would be more attractive and more dynamic, Aidan.

that's nice of you to say, Robert, and would make a good analogy for my dress sense.

i find photo blogs in particular difficult to comment on, Stwidgie, i imagine many people are the same. short of chiming in with "nice picture" i haven't much i feel i can add...

vegetarians are sensitive souls, aren't they? i have to resist the urge to take the piss out of them too much. because it infuriates me when they are relentlessly polite in response to my taunts.

bastards.

had a chat with the mutual friend about it on friday night, Felix. i felt a bit better afterwards.

a nice illustration, Gardenhead. and though the kid with the sweets has the best of intentions and all the sincerity in the world, there's something about it that rubs me up the wrong way. i can only apologise that i can't better articulate why.

that's a little creepy, Conan. i'd get some curtains.

Colm said...

I do think that it's important to write for yourself and forget about others. If they like it that's good, if not, so what. At the end of theday it's impossible to please everyone.

le craic said...

executive summary of all the comments anyone? ;-)

Annie said...

Rosie doesn't want a blogroll and everybody agrees.

Rosie said...

an ceart amach agat, Colm.

thanks, Annie!

Annie said...

<3

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