Monday, September 08, 2008

Rub A Dub Dub

I looked the email up again and dialled the number. "Primal's Porno Palace" an efficient voice barked in an official tone. "Erm..." I countered, my cheeks burning. Just what the fuck was I getting myself into?

Half an hour later we were in his kitchen, sitting down to polite tea and Viscounts before settling down to business. Annie was bright and breezy, as if she does this kind of thing every day. Primal seemed right at home, but then it was his kitchen.

Me? I was shiteing myself.

I hate having my photograph taken. I am both unphotogenic and vain, and as a result I am a notoriously reluctant subject. But I was flattered by Annie's request, and she's so sympathetic, sweet and reassuring that I figured I could take her easily if I didn't like the results; burn the evidence, hide the body.

When it came down to it, taking my clothes off was easy. Not snotting myself as I clambered into the beautiful cast iron tub whilst trying to maintain some semblance of dignity - not so much. She tells me that I am an excellent poser, I choose to believe she means it as a compliment. It's not that I preen, you see, just that I am really really good at staying still. Two years as a public servant will do that to a girl, but at least now I am reassured that should the Gaeilgeoir jobs market dry up, I have the option of a career as an artist's model. As I look down the barrel of another Monday morning in the office, sitting on my nudie hole and getting paid for it looks quite attractive. Mind you, I have already spent the greater part of this morning doing little more than sitting on my hole and getting paid for it, albeit with a few layers of fabric between my seat and the chair.

She emailed me the final photo yesterday evening. It's beautiful.

16 comments:

Annie said...

Aw, you were a great model. I need to send you the eyes-closed one with the contrast adjusted, then you can post it on your blog.

I'm really pleased with how the milk turned out, it looks lovely and creamy.

Primal Sneeze said...

Now that explains everything. I was wondering who the two girls in my kitchen were.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Hey Rosie,

Liking the new skin, very the thinking person's crumpet, classy!

Can we see the pics?

I love naked portraits.

Rosie said...

yeah, my hair was lovely and creamy after soaking in it... not.

Annie was the ginger one, Primal. the brunette was hired to pose as me for the day.

thank you, Sarah! you can see the pics, certainly (that was kinda the point) but apparently Annie's "weekend photo" slot is published at weekends and not, sadly, on a monday. so she's making me wait.

Annie said...

Okay, okay, maybe I can do the "tuesday picture" this week. I have to fix the colour though.

Kitty Cat said...

Sounds schexy! Looking forward to seeing the final picture, ladies.

emordino said...

Aww, everyone gets a porno palace but me. My place is a smutshack at best.

red said...

I was afraid you were going to keep the picture private- I'm looking forward to seeing it during the week.

Rosie said...

oooh! am now impatient to see my impatience rewarded.

Red, Kitty, i hope you won't be disappointed...

i'm trying to come up with a clever retort, EM, but i'm tired and my words are a mess today.

oyebilly said...

Yes, post the picture.

In every picture of me, I either like supremely ill-at-ease or like I have sinister plans.

problemchildbride said...

You did it with the milk too! Excellent!

Annie takes fantastic pictures, I can't wait to see this one of you.

Loving the whole lady of letters and sighs blog togs. Smashing.

Annie said...

pictures pictures pictures! (Pictures or it didn't happen, as I'm told the kids all say.)

Rosie said...

i think i look at ease with my sinister plans in these ones, Billy.

thanks, Sam! well, Annie told me to post something to drum up a little suspense. i'm now suspensed up to my ears and hoping to fuck that you kids aren't wild disappointed when you see them.

it happened, Annie, despite the naysayers saying that our drunken plans would come to nowt. silly naysayers.

Quickroute said...

the plot thickens or clears as it were

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