Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The Five O Clock Shadow

And have you any photos of this latest one? Nana never misses an opportunity to get an affectionate dig in. The implication is that I have trailed a string of them along behind me, that I have a short short span of attention. It is flattering; I do have a short short span of attention, she's right, but not when it comes to the romantical stuff. When it comes to romanticaliness I'm all about the slow burn, the long haul, the big romance, the hard-won battles, but more often than not I come away singed. She doesn't see this because I am so mortified by rejection that I scrape off the char and swallow my pride like toast. I would rather she thinks of me as independent and flighty than insecure and um... flighty.

So she's curious about this New Thing. She liked the last one, you see - he had a big appetite (for such a skinny lad!) and was a Catholic (he wasn't, really, I don't even know where she got this from) so that was pretty much all her boxes ticked. She was all about him when I was all about him, but congratulatory and cautionary when I broke it to her that I had broken with him. You need to do what's right for you she nodded, sagely. Otherwise you can end up married, if you're not careful.

Quite.

So I show her a picture. She scrutinises it, like a mugshot. I'm not sure what she's looking for, and I wonder if she sees any of the things that I do. He has one of those chin things she says, and I wonder what the fuck she's getting at. Seeing my confusion, she reaches for the right words. You know, she says, pointing again at his jawline, a 7pm.

I nearly wet myself laughing. She asks me, deadly serious, if I plan to stick with this one for a little longer. Will he stick with you? That's the $10 question, I suppose!

I love my nana. She's priceless.

13 comments:

Conan Drumm said...

You could go into the 'Rent-a-Nana' business, there's a fortune to be made.

Primal Sneeze said...

I love your nana too. Never met her, but she's priceless.

Vicki Holdwick said...

Rosie,

I love your Nana, too. And I want to be just like her when I grow up (if I grow up).

Thanks so much for the mix tape. It's just the thing to listen to while making collage art.

conortje said...

She sounds utterly fabulous!

Rosie said...

perhaps i should put her on Ebay. i do keep a mental list of her mental quotes so that i can pass them off as my own when i reach an age where i can get away with that kind of thing.

you've very welcome, Vicki.

Gardenhead said...

When I'm that age I'm going to give children sticky sweets covered in lint.

C'est La Craic said...

As a qualified cook, might I take full metaphorical licence and say, A good soup starts on a low flame, though you'd do better to listen to your Nana.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

*Excited at prospect of a new fella for you Rosie*

Especially one with 7pm.

Racy.

Rosie said...

mmm, lint. bellybutton's my favourite kind.

nana's most infamous cookery quote was when she shouted "scutter on it!" after she dropped a freshly boiled ham into a basin of dirty dishwater.

what japes.

thanks, Sarah. you'd like him. and he likes me.

Rua said...

Nanas are deadly. I think we've discussed this before. Deadly.

Rua...again said...

well....unless they hate you and dis own you, but that clearly hasn't happened here so...

Rosie said...

my nana'd never dis me!

not to my face, anyway.

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