Thursday, November 13, 2008

Salt An' Vinegar

I dithered, my conscience eating at me. Fuck it, I thought, nobody will know. And I was almost, almost there when my phone rang. I silenced it guiltily and placed my order, then, thinking I'd have at least ten minutes to play with, I called him back. I got a whole two minutes of pretending I was out for a walk before your woman behind the counter bellowed at me. "I'm out picking up some dinner" I muttered "in the chipper". I trailed off in embarrassment and he laughed. That's not like you!

Yeah, yeah.

I hurried home with my greasy bag, joking that I hoped I wouldn't be mugged for my chips but glaring at the skangers on Pearse St. as they swaggered past, just in fucking case. Mine. I got home, poured a glass of wine, fetched a plate and some cutlery. I don't know who I thought I was kidding - I licked the salty grease from my fingers ten minutes later, then drank the nice warming rioja for dessert. In front of Ugly Betty.

Intellectual pursuits and culinary adventures will resume tomorrow.

28 comments:

Conan Drumm said...

Must be the evening for that kind of post, I wasn't far off it myself!

C'est La Craic said...

Damn it Rosie, I just happened by as I had finaly made up my mind not to give in to those treacherous munchies.
I'm of to the pizzeria.

Holemaster said...

Jeez Rosie, it's not a mortal sin to go to the chipper you know. They even have one in Sandymount, imagine that.

Conan Drumm said...

Jayziz Holemaster, when Borza's opened in Sandymount it was the rare auld times - the Misses Gilligan had a hardware shop on the corner.

oyebilly said...

Chips are good. That's all.

problemchildbride said...

The nights are closing in. 'Tis the season of chips for tea. Fa la la la la, la la la lard.

Sorry. I've absent mindedly eaten the best part of a pound of chocolates in the last 24 hours and i can hardly remember eating them. I have to take it out on someone.

Holemaster said...

Still plenty of people popping in for their cod and chips with the Range Rover porked in the disabled spot with the hazards on.

Annie A said...

I just ordered burger and chips room service and ate them all in about 3 minutes flat. Who am I kidding, my money is going to run out before I know it and I'll be stranded here forever.

Radge said...

For many people that does constitute a culinary adventure, including me.

OK, only me.

Terence McDanger said...

Is there something in the air this week? I had a pizza, hula hoops and a tub of caramel choo choo ice cream last night, after pints the night before.

Sometimes, you just gotta.

Rosie said...

yours was full of good intentions, Conan. i was lusting for lard from the get go.

not a mortal sin, no, but my arse could do without the extra padding.

i have probably done that too, Sam. i'd rather not think about it.

you can't get stranded there, Anniekins. who else am i going to eye up the waiters in Pinxto with?

i can highly recommend dipping the hula hoops into the ice cream. salty, caramelly goodness.

backpedalbrakes said...

Ah, but if they were good chips, nothing to feel guilty about.

red leeroy said...

were the chips accompanied by other chipper goodness ?

Rosie said...

accompanied by a fried egg (not from the chipper - they're a bastard to carry all the way home)

Dave said...

There's something extra special about Lido chips. Maybe it's the sense of relief when you get out of the shop alive.

(It was Lido, wasn't it? Own up!)

Rosie said...

there is no finer chipper!

conortje said...

sounds nothing short of delightful - I'm even a bit jealous I admit!

Rua, slighlty more confused than normal said...

I had chips three times last week, its ok though, my boring job has now gotten so boring that I've taken to doing push ups for entertainment.

It can get a bit awkward, though, when people walk in and I emerge from under the reception desk, red faced and rushed

Nina said...

greasy food, wine and tv show. never fails to do the trick

Russ said...

Fine, fine chips Rosie and always the sweeter given the effort you have to make to get them home intact.

Ellie said...

You know Borza's in Donnybrook deliver? Worth trying next time

Rosie said...

there are worse things you could be doing, Rua. masturbating, for example. which is presumably what everyone who sees you emerge from under the desk thinks you were doing.

ack! Ellie! the last thing i need is to be told that i can have the lard delivered!

besides, they probably have some minimum order for delivery rule which means i would have to order a bucket of southern fried snackboxes and battered sausages to go with the chips. i can't even pretend i wouldn't eat them.

with relish.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Man, chips sound like heaven right now.

Have just been out for family dinner in Singapore's liveliest hawker centre where my family tried to force feed me chilli crab...hard life I know.

They cannot grasp why I'm a vegetarian, or am still unmarried.


My excuse of being a career-driven lesbian is wearing thin.

Radge said...

Maybe you should just try being a career lesbian, Sarah. I dabbled myself some time back. It took for a while, then didn't.

I used to live beside the Lido. I'd get my chips and eat them in the dark outside the health food shop. Freud would have a field day.

Rosie said...

someone forcefeeding me crab would likely make me turn lesbian too. or vegetarian. whatever.

Rua, Proffessional sperm donater said...

Masturbating is like scratching your arse; You don't want anyone to see, but it has to be done.

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