First to the cobbler's; a cheeky redheaded chap as befits his profession. So when would you like to come back and see me? Cue a quizzical look from me (surely he can't be flirting with me?) and then an embarrassed pause from him. Come back, I mean - to collect your boots?
Then to the chemist's to get my prescription filled. What's your address? Right. Oh, I have another address here, a Rathmines one? Oh. (again? Come off it...) You're a very mysterious lady then, aren't you? Keeping me guessing... I can't be sure as I was panicking and backing slowly out the door at this point, but I think he may actually have winked at me.
Feathers ruffled, I headed in to the deli next door to buy lunch (well, Monster Munch, if I'm honest, but I decided that a turkey sandwich wouldn't kill me). I stood waiting for the sandwich man to finish chatting to his mate, pretending not to earwig on their conversation but trying to keep my sniggers to myself (he's funny). Finally it was my turn. So, what gossip have you got for me? I'll trade you salacious gossip for a sandwich. You look like you might have something good to share.
WHAT THE FUCK?
I'm going to work unwashed and dressed up like a car crash from now on. It seems to work for me, at least with the village shopkeeps.