Monday, December 15, 2008

Soshall Netwroking

I have managed to hold fast against FaceBook. Why? Well, what everybody else said. My morbid curiosity would relish a rummage around the lives of the lovelies I've littered in my wake, but common sense reminds me that my life is short, too fucking short. My time would be (and is) better spent in the company of the 'cquaintances I've kept.

Twitter, though.

While FaceBook is all ugly photographs, pervy pokes and jacks wall scribbles, the twaddle on Twitter reads like other people's text messages. It's dirty. I'm afraid to sign up lest I submit to committing my every thought to the internets and eschewing real life altogether. I'm funnier on paper than in person, you see, as I suspect most who keep a blog are. I fancy myself as quite the brevitous wit and have no self control whatsoever - Twitter would allow me to fuel my illusions of an illustrious self, ruining me for real life company. And we can't have that.

Of course, I hate to be left out. So I did as I do with any shiny thing I find online - tried jamming it into my feed reader, like so many slices of buttery toast into a beleaguered VCR. It worked. I can creep voyeuristically through twits' days without befriending them at all. Follow me on Twitter! Fuck off.

Instead, I'll stalk them through the undergrowth.

22 comments:

Radge said...

After my most recent Facefuck I decided against Twitter. I happened on it once but it's not for me.

Gardenhead said...

"following" is unfortunate terminology that the twitterheads came up with. Why not connecting, linking, something less sinister. Mark my words we'll have a twitter rape or murder some day soon. (actually, shit, if that happens I'll feel like I jinxed twitter by saying it. Oh crap)

red leeroy said...

I just joined twitter a week or two ago. It is beginning to feel like a splinter under my fingernail. A nail I will happily rip off to get at it.

oyebilly said...

Facebook is rubbish because you use your actual name and you end up with people you didn't particularly like from school want to be your friends.

Doesn't stop me being on there though.

Twitter on the other hand is like a compressed blogging and is actually quite interesting.

If you like that kind of thing.

Quickroute said...

Facebook is good for reconnecting with old friends assuming you want to be 'found' - you can set upp rss feeds for your friends or for stuff being sent your way which means you don't have to log in to FB itself.

I'm only a recent Twitter convert but I like it so far. I hate IM-ing and I have zero interest in the fact that Joe Blogs just ate a kebab which is what many people twit about but you just ignore that crap. A few people share interesting articles and ask intersting Q's and it's good to see the back n' forth on a take it or leave it basis. Twitter will be huge until the next thing comes along.

One observation - I use the phone less and less these days to catch up with people because you can see the sordid details of their life on FB and Twitter so why phone them?

Good Jaezuz this was well more than 140 characters!

Conan Drumm said...

Ah, a new verb: to twit.

Dave said...

To twit? Twitter? What the fuck? I thought,I THOUGHT i was down with the trends and hip to the online groove but clearly not.. im afraid even to investigate this.."twitter" thing you are all talking about..

..as if to type the words into my address bar would stick me to yet another new social web of useless comments and dribble..

...perhaps somebody should make a dribble.com a place for all the bullshit..

bullshit photos
bullshit comments
bullshit old "friends"

i do bebo and facebook ...myspace too.. but i seem to justify it only as a way to promote my music.. otherwise i use them less and less these days...

..pfff...twitter?

conortje said...

I'm not sure I even understand Twitter, but then again I am over 30 and you're not allowed on when you're that old, right?

C'est La Craic said...

I hate facebook.
I hate the devious fucking way they collect information on you by asking your 'friends' questions about you.

Leesa said...

I never understood twitter either.

Rosie said...

..as if to type the words into my address bar would stick me to yet another new social web of useless comments and dribble..

don't do it, Dave.

kiki said...

creep

Ian said...

I just realised that my firefox mustn't like you very much. I just need to type "spa" into the address bar and the url for this blog pops up.

Firefox is an asshole.

Rosie said...

your firefox is a discerning creature, Ian. i am a bit of a spa.

shut up, Kiki, with your stupid haircut.

Rua said...

"her handsome face " now I understand why women think she's so hot-the big man head on her. Wha? Its fuckin massive, you could play basketball with it if it wasn't such a funny shape...

Oh and with regards to hip-lips; *shudder* no!

Rosie said...

i'm presuming you're referring to the other post, Rua.

but, um, yes.

She Likes It Loud said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rosie said...

sadly, i think i'm funnier on my blog. i think you'd be mildly disappointed to meet me in the flesh.

you know, because i'm fucking hilarious here...

She Likes It Loud said...

Sorry about that last comment, I had too much yule nog makes me annoying. Bad day (week, year, LIFE). I imagine you must be highly entertaining or your Jaffaness wouldn't dig you. He's a picky pick, so you must be awesome. Have a great new year!

Rosie said...

aw, don't apologise, it was funny! you're right about him though, he thinks i'm deadly. poor eejit.

athbhliain faoi mhaise to you too, honey. happy new year.

x

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