Three New Things I Did Today

• I had tea this morning with an Important Irish Artist. Her husband patted me on the arse as he ushered me through their home. He may have been aiming for the small of my back; I'm about a foot taller than him. We'll give him the benefit of doubt.
• I bought a beautiful painting. Unfortunately I didn't buy it with my money and I won't be allowed to keep it, but for now it looks pretty over my desk.
• I went to the dentist for the first time in 11 years. It mortifies me to admit that I have never before been to the dentist of my own volition, as an adult. The dentist was not horrible nice. I managed not to cry. There'll be a scene when I go back for my filling though.