Have Yourselves A Merry Little Christmas

I like to think I drink with panache and style, though I see my recent post has resulted in some upturned noses. Fuck them. Everyone else is compiling lists of their favourite books, albums, films, songs, random shite etc. of 2007 and I was feeling a little overawed by it all until I realised that there is one subject on which I am an authority and can write with assured confidence. Booze.

Rosie's Top 10 Tipples
(complete with tips for the cautious drinker)

in joint Second Place we have:

Wine (White)

I don't like it as much as red wine, but it has a significant advantage in that it doesn't make you look like you've been chewing ink cartridges and it doesn't stain too badly when you spill it.

Wine (Red)

Delicious, it has an advantage in that it may be enjoyed at room temperature and won't go flat if you forget about it for a while. It does, however, stain your lips and teeth an unattractive shade of purple, and those pesky stemmed glasses make it an ideal candidate for spilling all over yourself and/or someone else.

Buckfast and Bulmers

Unclassy as they come, she does what it would say on her tin. If she had one. It's probably illegal to mix Buckfast and Bulmers, two offensive beverages in their own rights. But like tomato ketchup and mayonnaise, their sum is greater than their parts.

Vodka and White (Lemonade)

My staple. Lemonade without vodka tastes plain wrong, sickly sweet, no bite to it at all. The White is a way to make sure you avoid a peculiar brand of nastiness we have here in Ireland, Red Lemonade. It tastes of Christmas gone bad, of school plays, of long hours visiting an old maiden aunt whose house smells faintly of cat piss. Barmen should never ever pour red lemonade without asking "are you sure?"

Gin and West Coast Cooler

West Coast Cooler is a sickly sweet white wine spritzer with hints of perfume and rubbing alcohol, but mixed with a heavy shot of good gin (Tanqueray no. 10, preferably) it is very very good. I've even had my mother drink it with me on occasion (though with her not being much of a drinker, the results were predictably disastrous).

Tia Maria and Milk (with Kahlua and/or Vodka as optional extras)

I think this is some variation on a White Russian. Whatever, it's fucking tasty.

Gin and Bitter Lemon

Has quite a kick to it. I don't like tonic, the bitter lemon makes a nice alternative.

Jaegermeister and Red Bull

For when you think you haven't had enough to drink, but you clearly have. Known as jaegerbombs, dropping the small shot glass of Jaegermeister into the glass of Red Bull inevitably leaves me covered in sticky mess. It tastes like cola bottles though. Alcoholic, caffeine-filled cola bottles. Yum.

***New***Vodka with Lemonade, Lime Cordial and Water

I invented this one out of necessity on Saturday night. It's much much better than it sounds.

but First Place goes to:

Campari and Orange Juice

Bitter as bitter can be, this drink has a pleasing blood orange hue and a whiff of danger about it. Barmen will look at you askance for ordering it, friends will ask to taste it. Let them, but pull the glass away sharply as they will either spit it back up immediately or worse, demand another "taste". One to sort the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff and the ladies from the gents.