I'm At A Loss For A Title

I don't normally do lazy look-what-I-read-in-the-paper posts (being so self-absorbed that I assume the trivialities of my own life to be far more interesting than anything I read in the papers) but this one was too good not to pass on. From this morning's Irish Times:

A woman (35) in Kansas sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years. Sheriff Bryan Whipple of Ness City said it appeared her skin had grown around the seat.

She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine . . . I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

Her boyfriend told police he brought her food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom. "Her reply would be, 'maybe tomorrow'."

Police are investigating whether she was mistreated but she has refused to co-operate.

What the fuck?