I haven't bothered to switch on the fairy lights this evening, because there's nobody here but me. The Leitrim Lady is in Leitrim and the Swede is in Sweden, but I am here because I'm not really sure where I should be.
Tonight, Love Lane feels lonely.
At home, my family will have the fairy lights on and the fire lit. Home? Home. Nowhere on earth feels more like home than my parents' house. But.
But for my bed.
For my bed; a fold-out couch in the front room. Its rich leather seats fold out into a firm foam mattress, the whole contraption rolls on casters. I have never felt such irrational antipathy for an inanimate object.
I joke about my parents' unhasty refurbishment of their home, about the loss of my room to my sister and the loss of her room to their walk-in wardrobe. To lose one was unfortunate; to lose two, well. Now, come Christmas and all that comes with her, my jibes don't seem so funny. My stubborn streak has struck me dumb and I cannot tell them that that is why I am sat here instead of curled up on their couch.
Tonight, Love Lane feels lonely.
At home, my family will have the fairy lights on and the fire lit. Home? Home. Nowhere on earth feels more like home than my parents' house. But.
But for my bed.
For my bed; a fold-out couch in the front room. Its rich leather seats fold out into a firm foam mattress, the whole contraption rolls on casters. I have never felt such irrational antipathy for an inanimate object.
I joke about my parents' unhasty refurbishment of their home, about the loss of my room to my sister and the loss of her room to their walk-in wardrobe. To lose one was unfortunate; to lose two, well. Now, come Christmas and all that comes with her, my jibes don't seem so funny. My stubborn streak has struck me dumb and I cannot tell them that that is why I am sat here instead of curled up on their couch.
