I Wish My Name Was Scroobius Pip

I danced all the way in to work yesterday morning, skipping to the beats of The Beat that my Heart Skipped and laughing along with Tommy Cooper. Right up until I hit Thou Shalt Always Kill, and heard the fateful lyric.

Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants.
Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.

Fuck.