"So, does Rosie have any bad habits?" Apparently his friend's ladyfriend watches the soaps. All of the soaps. I estimate that to be about 47 hours worth of shite telly a day, though I'm not great at maths. It might be more. The Jaffa Cake paused to consider his answer and then, loyal to a fault, lied to his friend and said no. "She watches Nationwide" -he said, and paused for effect- "but I don't really mind it".
I can imagine the uncomfortable moment's pause. Tuchus lingus is probably a more socially acceptable pastime than watching Nationwide.
"Is she from the country?" his friend asked, aghast.
I'm not. I lived for a few years in Kilkenny and another few in Kildare, but that's neither here nor there.
Nationwide, for those of you not familiar with it, is a magazine-style programme broadcast thrice weekly on RTÉ. It's full of fluffy stories about rescued animals and old people and is designed to appeal to old people who enjoy stories about other old people and rescued animals. I think it's the bee's knees. It's community television with a budget, if community television was elegantly upbeat and presented by Michael Ryan and Mary Kennedy. I think they're the bee's knees too. Mary's sister was my primary school principal - information I impart with such pride and regularity that you'd swear we were friends, or something. We're not, which is just as well because her natural grace seems to appeal to the Jaffa Cake's baser instincts and I'm not sure I could have her over to dinner without him trying to mount her leg, or worse - compliment her on her blouse. And Michael, with his fondness for the definite article, his dapper dress and his gentlemanly air! I didn't write his Wiki, but I could have.
Everything about the programme and its presenters is genteel, a quality all too rare in teatime television. Its features are well-constructed, informative and engaging, it showcases local craft and social enterprise. I wouldn't buy the box-set, but I might rent it from Xtra Vision.
This post isn't really going anywhere either. Sorry about that. I just like Nationwide, is all.
I can imagine the uncomfortable moment's pause. Tuchus lingus is probably a more socially acceptable pastime than watching Nationwide.
"Is she from the country?" his friend asked, aghast.
I'm not. I lived for a few years in Kilkenny and another few in Kildare, but that's neither here nor there.
Nationwide, for those of you not familiar with it, is a magazine-style programme broadcast thrice weekly on RTÉ. It's full of fluffy stories about rescued animals and old people and is designed to appeal to old people who enjoy stories about other old people and rescued animals. I think it's the bee's knees. It's community television with a budget, if community television was elegantly upbeat and presented by Michael Ryan and Mary Kennedy. I think they're the bee's knees too. Mary's sister was my primary school principal - information I impart with such pride and regularity that you'd swear we were friends, or something. We're not, which is just as well because her natural grace seems to appeal to the Jaffa Cake's baser instincts and I'm not sure I could have her over to dinner without him trying to mount her leg, or worse - compliment her on her blouse. And Michael, with his fondness for the definite article, his dapper dress and his gentlemanly air! I didn't write his Wiki, but I could have.
Everything about the programme and its presenters is genteel, a quality all too rare in teatime television. Its features are well-constructed, informative and engaging, it showcases local craft and social enterprise. I wouldn't buy the box-set, but I might rent it from Xtra Vision.
[Having written the above, I stopped to read and review my post so far and thought "shit, if either of them ever read this, I'll get a restraining order in the post". But they don't seem like blog-reading types. Then I thought "That's it! That's my in! I'll get them to do a feature on blogging!" But I suspect that if they did, it would feature {insipid blog I don't like} and {other insipid blog I don't like} and they would prate on about Twitter and Mary would start a Tumblr and Michael would join Facebook and I would pummel the television and cry. But I digress. I'm not sure how to conclude my post now. It's like that one I wrote once about ducks.]
This post isn't really going anywhere either. Sorry about that. I just like Nationwide, is all.
