Wednesday, October 27, 2010

So Lie To Me, But Do It With Sincerity

me:
so remember i said i was going to break up with my acupuncturist yesterday? well, i decided the easiest thing to do would be to tell her that my husband had lost his job, so we were cutting back on spending, and that way nobody's feelings would be hurt.
Annie:
good idea
lie
me:
then Andrew's boss came and told him that he'd lost his job.
Annie:
oh my god
no way
:(
me:
uh huh. next time i'm going to lie about winning the lotto. "i have won the lotto, so i'm afraid i won't be needing acupuncture anymore!"
Annie:
ahahaha
there's your blog post right there
that's terrible though
is he gutted?
me:
nah, he's okay. he was very upset yesterday afternoon and then he remembered that he was married to me so it would all be okay. he's an optimistic fella.
Annie:
awwww
that is beautiful
-19 minutes-
me:
i'll blog about it, but i'll maybe let him blog about it first.
Annie:
very decent
I went to the acupuncturist that evening, wracked with guilt. "Are you stressed?" she asked. "You seem to be bleeding a lot." She drew the needles out slowly, carefully. "I think that one's going to bruise..." she said, gently prodding the pudge above my bellybutton. I told her about Andrew losing his job and she was lovely, understanding and sympathetic. Then she gave me a voucher for a free treatment. I didn't feel like I could say no. And so I'll traipse back again tomorrow, like a lover softly succumbing to one-last-time-no-strings-attached sex, with clean knickers, combed hair and a guilty conscience.