What's the protocol when some dozy bitch walks out in front of you as you're pedalling in a leisurely fashion along the canal, trying not to look like you're about to keel over? My bike (ew, that still sounds wrong) hasn't got a bell. Do I shout "ding ding!"? "Beep beep" would just seem inappropriate. I can't shake my fist, I'm still new enough to this cycling lark to go arse over tit. Shouting some abuse might be an option if I learned to pedal a little faster, but at the moment I think I'd end up trying to make my getaway on foot, after throwing the bike at them.
Mornings never used to be this stressful. It was all ducks and eyeing up boys on my amiable stroll into work. Not sweat and bruises on my shins.
In other news, George Michael has cancelled our date tonight. So much for the clean knickers I put on this morning.
